im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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