Christians are straight up FREAKS
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
