His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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