he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize