As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
