I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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