is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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