I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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