dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
