my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
