I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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