Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
