Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
we're so committed to being not committed
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