she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
