A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize