At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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