How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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