I've blown a few things in my day
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
