i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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