Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
