no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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