I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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