i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
His nipple licking is glorious
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