I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
