Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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