Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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