no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
