When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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