dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
