i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
