Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
do herpes really smell.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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