Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
