My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
