I have demons in me.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
