woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
