careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
