so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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