im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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