I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
