yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
