Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Dick very happy bro
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
