I heard we made out
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
