Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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