Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize