How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
