he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
