Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
