I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
