Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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