i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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