and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize