I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
