I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize