Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
