So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
