my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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