She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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