some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize