I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
