I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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