i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
